five years of bliss

so, today was my last ever day of school. ever. from now on i will either be in college, or not in college. there is not going to be any mention of school until i'm like 30, and deciding which school to send my filthy disease ridden brats to. - actually... no that's about right.

luckily

i have three exams left. which is a strange sentence i know. but i still have several people who i want to write in my leavers book. there are so many people i'm going to miss. these people generally fall into three groups.

• the people who i have befriended at my current school, and are going to a different college to me - these are people in my tutor mainly. as i've seen them every day these past five years and grown to love their weirdness. two people come to mind in particular. i'm going to miss our quirky conversations and personal tutor jokes the rest of our classes never got.
  
• the people who are going to the same college as me, and i probably won't ever talk to again - these are the ones i say hello to in the corridors, or used to be really close to, and have drifted away before we've even got to college. nevertheless, i can't keep in contact with everyone. and i will remember those people until i get dementia and slowly wither away. there are quite a few people who stand out for me here, but only one in particular that really strikes me.
  
• the people who i have seen every school day since i was four, and are going to a different college - the last group will probably hit me (emotionally) the hardest. because you're bound to drift away from people. but there are a few people, who have gone to the same primary and secondary school, and there's this string, which runs deep. i've known these people for most of my life. and i doubt i'll ever talk to them socially again. there are two people who particularly come to mind in this category; i've watched them grow into adults, and i will genuinely miss them
  

i think it's safe to say that i am currently emotionally charged. i have spent the entire day either fighting tears or experiencing such a euphoric energy i could barely stop moving. our head girl (shes a really lovely person, who has made every ski trip i've been on an absolute delight) put together a slide show of photographs from our last five years. i fought tears when they showed the ski trip photographs, of all three years. i fought tears when they showed all of the tutor groups. and i fought tears when they showed our 'graduation' style photograph. however, it was too much when a picture raided from my best friends facebook page appeared on the screen. it was one of her and myself on our way home during the snow day. everyone 'aww'ed. and no matter how hard i fought them, they were going to come anyway. so i let them stream down my face in a mixture of happiness and utter grief.
now we're all off on this huge scary journey into the "real world"; although it's college, how "real" can it be? now, it's been like that all day. running places just for fun, in a dress which liked to be caught in a light updraft and a totally bruised leg. but, it was amazingly, spectacularly, fantastically, weird. and i loved every moment of it. i'm going to miss it all so so so much.

ps. as a piece of advice, never wear heels over three inches, when you know you're going to be walking around for more than an hour. that's no fun; that's just painful.