*sadface*

today has just been one of those days, which makes me want to call the whole 'college' idea bs and crawl into a well.

sorry, but it honestly was that bad. firstly. i got my post-enrollment work back from english. clearly, they liked it, and it was okay. however the teacher who marked it, decided that starting a sentence with the word 'while' meant that i was obviously mentally ill, and who the hell starts a sentence with 'while'? what are you even doing in college, you silly little girl.

are you freaking kidding me?

so apart from the fact that my english class is so painfully dull i would rather cut my thumbs off for enjoyment, they also tell me what i can and can't start my sentences with.
when i pointed out that many successful authors use this as part of their style or technique, i was not expecting this comment:

'not the good ones.'

whatever.
this is writer restriction. and i am not having it.

and then...

WHILE i was talking to my friends at lunch, one of the people who hangs around with us, who has always been a horrid member of society, made a comment. to which my friend replied by making a funny albeit slightly offensive joke toward him - i laughed. this notfriend then pushed me off the bench we were sitting on, and then preceded to call me a bunch of rather nasty names. he has been like this since we started college.

of course. he didn't say a thing to my friend, who by the way is male.

i know it sounds like we're six. but we are not. we are sixteen. and i don't think that bullying girls is anything to be proud of.
i'm really tired of his offensive and aggressive behaviour. and if he steps out of line once more, he will be put back in his place.

i am going to start playing the lottery. win. and drop out of college. because i hate it.

what is even worse than all of that put together, is that one of my best friends is grounded. therefore they cannot come out and make me happy again - image to signify.

ps. just cause i'm having a bad day doesn't mean i don't love you guys. <3

i got a dailybooth!

i did none of my to-do list this weekend.
and it doesn't bother me, because i got a dailybooth!

i think i need a new fresh layout for winter. what do you think? i'll play around with a few things.

other than that, i don't really have anything to blog about today because i just lazed around in legwarmers watching 8 Simple Rules and eating half a tub of ice-cream. it was a good day.

to dailybooth, or not to dailybooth?

i'm currently doing that procrastinating thing where i leave all the important work until the very last few hours of Sunday.
i bet you do it too.

i'm not just doing nothing though. i am reading blogs, watching YouTube videos, updating various social networking sites. i am effectively working on being a well rounded human being internetwise. which brings me on to my next point. now i actually have people to follow, do i get a dailybooth account? it looks so good. and shiny. and i think it will make me a more active member of the internet in general, but i just don't knowwww. choose for me. i trust your decision.

in other news

i went to work today for the first time in two weeks! i know that makes me sound like a bum, however, i have college monday - friday, 8:30 - 4:35, and those are the exact opening and closing times of where i work. so i can only work saturdays. and last saturday was the wedding fiasco, so i couldn't go then either.

a bunch of loose ends

i may have sounded ungrateful for that offer in my last blog. i really wasn't. i genuinely loved the fact that they liked my writing so much they contacted me. however, after researching the company i could see they wanted to point me in a different direction than what i currently wish to go in. i just felt it wasn't right for me.

in the meantime, i have work tomorrow! which i really am looking forward to. i miss my work friends so much. Laura and Emma are so lovely to be around. and i haven't seen them in two weeks. although it feels like months.

i have finished my induction period of college now. two weeks down, one-hundred and two to go!...

my to-do list this coming weekend consists of:

• buying The Best Friend a birthday present.
• reading Frankenstein - which i was supposed to read like a month ago, oops.
• writing a monologue from the point of view of someone who is alienated.
• analyse a clip of The Bill (crappy uk television show about cops).
• revise for maths test.

what i want to do is:

• read some YA fiction.
• write creatively.
• sit on the field outside my house til it's pitch black and i am freezing to death with a friend.

but they don't look like they're going to happen. *sigh*

and, look how cold it is! wednesday i came home from college looked out my window and there were no leaves on the tree in my front garden. how is this?! i swear it was summer yesterday. and now it's practically winter. i don't know where the time is going. i really really don't.

i currently have this picture, as my background, just to remind me of warmer times.

on that note, today is exactly three months til christmas. feel free to send me presents <3

ps. i mentioned a song called 'Us' by Regina Spektor yesterday. i haven't stopped listening to it since. it's more inspiring than anything i have ever come across before. it is love.

it's a rich man's blog.

um. i got an offer to make money from my blog today.

i checked my blogger email on the bus this morning, and there was an email from this company. they liked my writing and wanted to include me on their list. they would show this to companies who wanted me to include them in my writing - advertising them effectively. and then the company would pay me every month, depending on how many i wrote about.
now, this is a really flattering offer, i could do with a little spending money and i'm glad they emailed me. although, recently on YouTube, there was this huge uproar about selling out. and i always said this was a non-profit blog.
i don't make any money on this blog. and i won't until i feel completely comfortable with the terms. that i can write what i want, when i want - without the catches. the company who emailed me wanted me to compromise my current style of writing. and that isn't what i want to do.

i'd like to thank this particular company for contacting me, although i will not be taking them up on their offer.

500*2

it feels like i haven't blogged since the apocalypse.

hiiii!

so yesterday, i went to see 500 Days of Summer in the cinema for the second time. i have never done this before. this is how much i loved this film. i am buying the soundtrack asap. i have fallen for The Smiths and Regina Spector - hard.

"to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die"

i love the way this film actually portrays men as loving creatures, not vultures feeding off rotting female flesh. and makes me think that not every single one is out to screw you over. there is hope, horrah!

my english class is so boring. like soooo boring. i spend more time thinking about what i write out of class than what i write in it. i want to learn to write creatively. not about how many adverbs makes a good sentence. and how i shouldn't start a sentence with 'and'. do you like how i both started and ended that sentence with 'and'? cause i sure as hell did. when i said 'but many authors do that' the teacher responded with 'not good authors.' what.the.hell. yeah, i don't like my english teachers anymore.

now i have to go and consume some more of The Smiths.
keep reading guys! i love you all <3

ps. happy seventeenth birthday to Heartbroken! - if you didn't check out his blog last time i told you to, do it now.

society is crushing my creativity

i caught myself deep in studying for my maths class just now.

i suddenly realised i had conformed to what society is asking of me.

i don't like what i'm becoming.

if i was just a few years older, and a few grand richer, this is not what i would be doing.

my friends won't be getting christmas or birthday presents these next few years. i have to save.


i will get the hell out of this town.

i have a gigantic family

yesterday was odd.

yesterday my cousin Ben got married, he is 34. i got up at eight. - these are not things you need to know, but i would want to know them if i were you.
anyway, we arrived at the registry office at about 11, and were chatting to the groom, my uncles, my aunts and my cousins; one of which i haven't seen in about four years, he got tall.
the ceremony took place, and it was all very simple and beautiful and people were crying and whatnot. the thing is, i don't find registry offices all that overwhelmingly wonderful, and the woman in front of me had a small spider in her hair, so i really didn't cry. i was a little pre-occupied if anything. then we had to take like a bazillion photos, which took forever. by now it was like 12:3o, and our family isn't exactly on the small side, and we are rather ruled by our stomachs, and my cousin Hannah and i could smell chips (when i get hungry, i have the nose of a bloodhound).

then we went to the pub for our lunch. the food was awful. however, there were free glasses of champagne and wine. so after the toasts some people went home to get changed and come back later for the party, there was about a three hour gap between the lunch and the party. where my mum wasn't drinking, she had rather carelessly left her champagne behind when she went home for a bit, i finished that off. and upon hearing that i had never been drunk, Hannah - who has just turned 17 - made it her personal mission to get me ever so slightly intoxicated. two champagnes and two white wines later, i had the attention span of a gnat. however apart from that i was fine. no stumbling about on my four inch heels just yet.

by seven, the pub was filled with so many relatives. a lot of people were congratulating me on my gcse results, due to either hearing me on the radio or my super proud aunt telling everyone.
and yesterday was the first time i had seen The Cousin, Kayleigh, in over a week. it doesn't sound like a lot, but i used to see her six days a week. i miss her everyday, she's like my little sister.
and her sister Letty is like my older sister. she was there too. i love her so much. we are so disastrous, hilarious and completely alike. if i ever end up half as successful as her, i will be perfectly happy.

when we finally got home, i had sobered up completely and so tired i could have cried. i'd had a rubbish nights sleep the night before anyway, and i was really sick of doing twelve hour days. it was nice that my parents bared this in mind, and decided to go home nice and early at midnight... i really hated them last night.

overall yesterday was really lovely. especially getting to spend time with Hannah, who i hardly ever see, and i loved chatting to George (her brother) about university. he really seemed to like it, i'm still undecided.
i really like spending time with extended family. i just wish my nuclear family wouldn't spoil it.

wedding party!

i'm going to a wedding tomorrow!

granted, it probably won't be all as pretty as this picture, but nevermind. it's a wedding nonetheless. i am more looking forward to the fact that i get to see The Cousin (here) and The Older Cousin! i miss them so much.
college was good i guess. i mean it's work. so it's okay. i led a bunch of boys to Subway for lunch, with the help of the iPhone, it was like the Pied Piper.

i miss my work friends too. and i have so much homework. but i'm too tired to care. the whole 6:30am takes it out of me bigtime.

zzzz...

good news. today was better than yesterday.
bad news. i have just eaten my own weight in sweets.

two packets of fruit mentos, one packet of jelly tots and a whole pack of strawberry laces. i consumed all of these in the past hour. i wasn't even hungry. i just wanted them. now i feel a bit sick. does that sound like an eating disorder to you?
anyway. today my mum bought my brother a cardigan, and he didn't like it. and it fits me. and boyfriend cardigans for girls are just so expensive. therefore, it's mine now!
college is so tiring. you wouldn't even believe it. i have never had to fight my way onto a bus before. now i have to do it at least twice a day. and i am always in bed before ten. even now i am considering curling up under the covers. it's not even seven.
actually, while i'm talking about buses. i get one from the town centre to my house. i am always the last person on it before it goes back to town. however, one stop before i get off, an old man gets on. he then shouts 'have i got it all to myself?!' the driver says 'no, there's one young lady at the back.' then the old man stares at me the entire way to my stop. not glances. not looks. stares the whole way. i have never been so grateful to press the STOP button and get off. i was genuinely afraid of him.


ps. it is super cold now. and it's not even winter yet. i can't believe i want to wear a coat this early in autumn.

i hate college.

i'm having the worst time ever.

- due to my own stupidity.
today, i had english after break, so i went to the lesson, and found i was in a group with a guy i met through The Best Friend who at one point i really liked. this was fine. it was more than fine.
and then two things happened. 1) my teacher wasn't the teacher my timetable said - however the timetable does say subject to change, so i didn't think anything of it. 2) my name wasn't on the register - my name is often pretty low down on it, and has been cut off the end before, so i didn't think anything of this either.
at the end of the lesson, i checked my timetable. once. twice. again.
i was supposed to be going to English. in the room i was currently in. the English class i had just sat through, was supposed to be my media class.
i left the room and had what i consider to be a mild panic attack.
i walked back to the room, sat through the second first english class of the day. and then talked to the woman who taught my actual English class (who is also my tutor). i told her about my catastrophic mistake. and she said it was fine and just to go and talk to my media teacher.
who i couldn't find.
and when i eventually found her, she reassured me that i hadn't missed a lot, gave me some sheets to read through, and then stared at me like i had swapped her grandmother for an oreo.

and then i had to queue for thirty minutes to by two goddamned books.

this was all after i had to stand for thirty minutes on a bus packed like sardines.

and there's not even like a cute guy who sits next to me in maths and asks for paper just cause he wants to talk to me. this college stuff is bs.

FML.

Sydney's first day....

i am exhausted.
not physically, not emotionally, not mentally.
all of them - put together.

today was my first day of college. i was awake at 6:20, and out of the house at 7:20. by 8:20, i was at my brand new college.
then i had to line up. in the biggest queue ever. then we looked behind us. boy, did i feel sorry for the poor guy at the back. who wants to be last in a queue of 1680 people? not me. luckily for us, we were in the first eigth or so. and i got my timetable in milliseconds.
then we wandered around in a secondary school segregated kind of group. and then we went to tutor.
now i had this fear my tutor was going to be some drunk artsy woman who was practically professor trelawney. instead i get a super nice dolores umbridge - honestly, looks just like her, without the pink - and she is super nice.
i sat next to a girl called Sian, who seemed really friendly, and also really familiar, although i have no idea where from, and it's freaking me out a little.
then we had maths. oh my god. my teacher is a whiny bitch. but this was counter acted by one thing. India. a girl, with a nose ring, who moved here from Germany, and boards and is pretty much the most rock and roll and incredulously interesting person i have ever met. i really hope i sit next to her next lesson, because this is exactly the kind of person i wanted to meet at college.
more boring tutor stuff was then followed by lunch. where i joined some guy from my primary school, along with secondary school buddies and some college people i don't even know yet. it was different.
general studies... yeah.
and then in drama and theatre we had to take off our shoes and hug people we'd never met before in our lives - i am now a baptised hippie. and in that class was a girl called Charlotte who had some of the greatest accessories known to woman and doesn't live that far from me!
and then we had the funniest bus ride home, by this time my head was throbbing and my eyes ached so much from tiredness, but i just couldn't stop laughing. plus, some girls who i knew when i was like six go there too. this college is like all the people who've lingered about in my memory from when i was little - random cut outs of an old diary.

overall. it was a good day.
now i'm going to shower, and hopefully be in bed before 8:30.
then i get to do it all over again.

goodbye, freedom.

this is my last post before i become a college girl.

a college girl in tutor T51, where so far, i know nobody.
a college girl who doesn't have a pencil case.
a college girl who is all alone. and doesn't have a clue.
but i do have this:

Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.

isn't it a beautiful sound?

yesterday my mum finally took me to see 500 Days of Summer. it is my new favourite movie. - i like it more than Transformers.

and today i finished all of my homework! but i am never going to read those novels by tomorrow. oops.
tomorrow morning i have to get up at 6:45. yowch. that's like no mans land for me.

wish me luck you guys!

ps. this is also my 120th post! would you believe it. remember, once i reach 20 followers i will do my very first giveaway! one in twenty is a pretty good chance of winning something you know...

Final Book Reviews.

in late may 2009 i published this list:

• The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
• Lord of the Flies - William Golding
• American Psycho - Bret Easton Ellis
• A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
• The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
  
• Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
  
• To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
  
• The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
• Paper Towns - John Green
  
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J. K. Rowling
• Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me? - Louise Rennison
• Looking For Alaska - John Green
• 13 Little Blue Envelopes - Maureen Johnson
• An Abundance Of Katherines - John Green

now, in early september 2009 the time has finally come to close the reviewing. and tell you that out of these fourteen books, i only actually managed to read and review five. i'm sorry. i really sucked at this. i promise to start again next summer, or something. the thing is, i may have cheated and read some others which i didn't even add to the list. still, i reviewed them all. so here are some quick reviews for each of the four books i read. thank you guys for taking time out to read these. i know they're not usual blog material. but, thanks for letting me try something different for a change.

now,
on with the reviews!

West End Girls - Jenny Colgan:
it just so happens that this was the first book i picked up after reading Harry Potter. which means this chick lit may be judged unfortunately harshly. i apologise in advance.
two years ago my mother bought this novel as a holiday-read. i vowed to read it after her, yet never got the chance. i even took it to school to read in my English lessons, however it ended up battered, wet and rather dog-eared. in the last 24 hours i finally settled down to Colan's 300 pages. and i finished it.
the tale is of two identical twins in a typical rom-com situation. i use the term 'rom-com' because that is exactly what it is. a small bit of romance with an even smaller addition of comedy. however, it is feel-good, and dramatic. the novel itself is not exactly a challenging book to read. and the simple plot line doesn't leave all that much to the imagination, although there's something to be said for that, as it is a perfect poolside read. nothing like a few chapters in the sun followed by a dip in the pool.

Love Eternally - Deborah Wright:
i picked up this book two years ago in a cheap book store on a three for two offer as a boredom-reliever. yet i never managed to get all that bored enough to read it.
the tale is a typical boy meets girl, boy befriends girl, while secretly being so deeply in love with her. this love is so strong, somehow, even after his death by drowning, he is kept on the planet as a ghost. and then, the love of his life, begins to see him.
it is indeed a romance novel, which again, isn't particularly gripping, yet Wright inserts unexpected twists and turns into the storyline guaranteed to surprise you. the subtle romance and air of sexiness laced into every page pours out at the end, in a beautifully emotional climax. it's definable as a good read, i enjoyed it much more than i originally predicted; the final few scenes of the novel are definitely worth waiting for.

Pillow Talk - Freya North
free in a cosmo magazine! not bad for a freebie. i lie. it wasn't bad at all. i loved it. you can definitely see why North is an award winning writer, she has such a way with words. the novel stretches past the lines of a normal chick-lit.
the novel flicks between the two protagonists, Petra Flint, the sleepwalking jeweler from London, and Arlo Savidge, an abstinent teacher living up in the North Yorkshire moors. they were secretly childhood sweethearts, and seventeen years later run into each other in a sweetshop. then the romance unfolds.
it's such a fairy-tale, with such a sexy twist. honestly, this book is not for the faint hearted, and along with some of the best romance scenes i've ever read, has some pretty explicit ones to. so it's not one i'd recommend for under fourteens. technically it is a very very adult book in some places, almost pornographic. a lot of people would disagree with a sixteen year old reading it's contents, however, i, as a teenage girl, can understand that it's not age that comes into play here, but maturity. that's why i believe young adults should be allowed to read it. anyway. overall it's a beautiful tale, with a realistic ending. to which i couldn't help but be a little disappointed in.

The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albott
this one is definitely not a chick-lit. i saw it weeks ago in Waterstones, but didn't buy it because i do have way too many books i haven't even attempted to read yet. and then i saw it in ASDA, half price. i couldn't resist. dear unread books, i'm sorry.
Eddie, the protagonist, is an old lonely war veteran and widower. he feels he's wasted his life working at the Ruby Pier, an amusement park. one day an attraction breaks and Eddie tries to save a little girl from the falling cart. Eddie dies. and he is then confronted by five people who had a connection with him on earth, whether he knew them or not.
i could not believe how insightful this novel was. it gives you a whole new opinion on what might be out there after a humans death. i bought this book because i was genuinely curious about what this take on heaven might be. all humans are curious about it, because it is something that nobody knows. and this book certainly satisfied my curiosity. even though it involves death, the story is particularly heartwarming, and incredibly memorable. certainly worth checking out.

sorry this was such a long and somewhat tiresome post. i tried to keep the reviews short. apologies!
if you actually read this far, you are a trooper. have a medal made of love.

timetable, etc.

yesterday afternoon, i got a phone call. it was The Best Friend. she told me how to access my timetable. i am still undecided whether it's good or bad.

monday and thursday are horrible. i have to be in all day (8:30-4:35). the rest are alright.

• monday (8:30-4:35) : media studies, english, break, free period, maths, tutor, lunch, general studies and drama and theatre.
• tuesday (8:30-2:45) : italian (i am so looking forward to this class, no homework too!) free period, break, media studies, english, free period, lunch, drama and theatre.
• wednesday (10:40-2:45) : english, media, free period, lunch, maths.
• thursday (8:30-4:35) : english, english, break, free period, italian, tutor, lunch, maths, media studies.
• friday (9:25-2:45) : maths, break, double drama and theatre, free period, lunch, key skills.
  

wednesday is a gift.

so, i start college tomorrow. and i am genuinely terrified. i have not read both Frankenstein and In Cold Blood, mostly because they are the most frightfully boring novels i have ever come across. so i will be doing that today, alongside posting two other blogs a little later, doing my media homework and putting the finishing touches to my english and drama works - a special thank you to The Heartbroken for looking over those pieces of work for me. check out his blog, it is simple, yet wonderful.

i will see you guys later! xo

puppy sized puppies

today, i am happy.

you know when you're having a really rubbish day. you wake up before your alarm goes off and you can't get back to sleep. you want to have some breakfast but you feel a little bit sick. you get to work late, even though you were up early. every dog you wash smells really bad. that kind of day?

well that's how my day was going.
and then things happened.

firstly, we had a St. Bernard in at work. little did i know it was only four months old! oh my gosh. it was the most adorable puppy ever (although it was incredulously ignorant). i got to play with it for like a whole hour! it was so fluffy - with razor sharp teeth. i now have several puppy-teeth marks on my hands, arms, shoulders, legs, feet, back and scalp. it was incredibly fun, if not painful.
on the way home from work, mum hands me this bag and says 'i got you a present'. she had bought me underwear to match the underwear i bought a few days ago. which was sweet. in a weird sort of way. i would have preferred actual sweets since she still went to Basingstoke without me.
when i get to my room there are two letters awaiting me, with all my super secret bank stuff in it! so i can use my bank account now! woohoo, after a year of having an account i can finally use it. plus, when i checked my internet banking account my check had been paid in. and there it was. my beautifully hard earned £100. i was so happy.
and then i bought a cosmo. which i had been waiting to come out for like a week now. and it has free perfume and shampoo in it!

this is like the best day.

i hope you guys have as good a weekend as my day has been today!

breaktime

okay. i've written my 500 word description. but there's something not right, and i don't know what it is.

in other news: hi.

you are providing a welcome distraction from two hours hard work. i do not do well in concentrated periods of studying. i can do a bit, then i have to go frolic or something.
what annoys me is when i write a page of work (which is generally a rough draft. as much as i love the gift of typing, i really love putting pen to paper, even though my handwriting is seriously atrocious) and it's a whole page. and then i type it up, and it's half a page. half a page?! how infuriating.
now i have to analyse a play for drama and theatre... i've seen enough plays to know what a play is. but i don't know how to analyse one! this is what they are supposed to teach us. jeez, do they not know how to do their jobs?

by the way, i have to tell you how much i am adoring all of these new comments and followers and stuff. it makes me so happy, honestly. just one comment really makes my day. i don't get any money from blogging, i honestly do it just because i enjoy it. and i always said i'd write whether i had one follower or one hundred. it makes no difference. but you guys are always so lovely and sweet and i thought i'd show you how much i appreciate you.

okay, now i have nothing else to talk to you about because i haven't done anything all day except for this stupid homework. although i will tell you that yesterday i bought a pair of socks which are exactly the same as these:

they are my new favourite socks.

stuff i learnt today

today i learnt some things.

• i learnt how to pay in a check
• i learnt that people other than me actually get on/off at my bus stop
• i learnt that my cousin doesn't have a consistent lunch time
• i learnt that i can change tables four times in an hour, in the same cafe
• and i learnt that £1.40 is way too much for one cookie

and another thing. i asked my mum if she wanted to go to watch 500 Days of Summer tomorrow in Basingstoke (i would have gone with friends if they were showing it in Andover, but apparently it's not a big enough film to show). i thought this was a good idea, considering how she is always going on about us not spending enough time together, and i knew she wanted to look for an outfit to wear to a wedding we are attending next week. she said this:

'i don't think so. you have homework to do. and i have to take your brother out.'

gee, thanks mum, i feel so loved.

when i have to have counselling in ten years time, this will be one of those moments that makes me break down and cry out 'why didn't you love me' etc etc. what's more ironic, is when i was reading my book while waiting an hour for my cousin to turn up today, i came across the quotation 'all parents damage their children'. apparently, it's true. and it's not like there was even a hint of favouritism toward my sibling either...

i do have a lot of homework though. 500 words about a place i visited for english, 200 words evaluating a play for drama and theatre, and to analyse two film posters for media. but i've finished my maths, five pages of equations, done. oh and those two books. yay.

oh, and i have that teenagery thing where a week before i do something for the first time which is really big and i am really nervous about - like college - i suddenly breakout in a bazillion spots and my hair is never right and i can't seem to do my make-up properly and my fashion sense dies. that is the one thing i hate about being a teenager.

ps. the time and date this morning was 09:09:09, 09/09/09. weird.

summer was simple

i was having a bad night last night. i was stressed about everything. and then one of my friends was being a jerk about a guy i previously liked. i wrote a blog, but i didn't post it. i'm glad i didn't. this is a snippet of that blog:

WHY DO I ASK FOR PRINCES AND KEEP GETTING TOADS?!
WHY IS THIS CLASSED AS FAIR?!

caps for emphasis. lol.

i did have a point though. i am a little sick of slimy little boys coming onto me. it is not flattering; at all.

in other news

where has summer gone? it's like someone just snatched it. it's cold. it's dark. i don't like it. i miss my warm evenings. sure, it's humid. but it's not summer. goodbye ice-cream, bathing suits and my beautiful ocean. until next year. i miss you already.

i buy too much

today, was the first day of school and college. for some people. not for me!

which is quite fun really. to explain to you how i came about my day, i have to start at the beginning.

last night, my parents went to the pub to do the weekly pub quiz, while i indulged in three wonderful episodes of sex and the city. three and a half hours later, they came home. so i was on webcam, on msn, and on the phone very very late.

and then my brother comes in. - boy was he angry.

six hours after i'd finally got some sleep, my brother comes in and yells - 'bye! i'm off to school now!'
what is one supposed to do at 8am? so i got up, ate, showered, dressed, made a list, and was in town by 11am. where i shopped my butt off and met my cousin for lunch. i'd bought her some sweeties as it was her first day of college and she was very nervous. then i walked her back to college.
then i bought more stuff.
as i was sitting on the bus, i realised something. i was on a bus, wearing a long pearl necklace, animal print shoes, and reading. it was like all of a sudden i had become this person i had always wanted to be. classy, wild and smart - if not a little poor.

i finally got my college books today. i don't know whether to read them or not. i also bought 'the five people you meet in heaven' by Mitch Albom, which caught my eye a few weeks ago. that was the one i was reading on the bus. maybe i just have too many books?

i'm going to meet Kayleigh for lunch again on wednesday. i think i'll buy the hannah montana movie then. if i haven't said it before; i am such an infant.

ps. i also have an obsession with animal print. especially leopard. i bought animal print shoes, underwear and a belt today. i also saw these heeled animal print shoes on asos for £100 yesterday. and saw ones which looked exactly the same in asda for £12. i'll probably get those on wednesday too.

a bunch of good stuff

okay. so i forgot to put this in my last post, because let's face it. i can be a bit dim.

are you bored? can i tempt you with doing something good for people and fun?
well if i can; check this out.

Kristina Horner is in England. she is not having fun.

click here to vote for her to go Antarctica instead!

this is not a ploy to get her out of the country. this is a ploy for her happiness. just vote for her. please?

four guys from youtube are trying to hijack the uk music charts.
not in a bad way. they're trying to get everyone who wants to be involved, in a song/music video to raise money for children in need, such a great idea.

click here to find out more!
it doesn't take long to just check them out. i promise they are both worthwhile causes.

that's basically all i have for you.

ps. i reached over a thousand profile views yesterday. i'm too happy for words. i must be doing something right.

everyone likes cake.

good afternoon, my beautiful visitors.

i am not freaking out today. i have a plan of action.
now, i realise that my posts have been really disheveled and all over the place lately. i'm sorry. i really am. there is no consistency. and i just look like a bit of an idiot.
i think it's because i've got used to nothing very interesting coming up. and suddenly i've been thrown all these curve balls by college and stuff and i just can't hit them back properly.
and now it's a week before i start college. and i'm scared. because i have no idea what's going to happen. it's stressing me out.

but that's enough.
my coat came yesterday.

and now i'm happy, because it's gorgeous. and so worth the £90 and buying stuff always cheers me up. i'm such a typical girl.

i'll upload a photo when i get some more batteries for the camera.

speaking of photos.
check this out:

this is the cake that The Best Friend made for her boyfriend. the car is cake. the road is cake. the grass is cake. and she iced it too. all by herself. it is amazing. she's talented.
i'm buying my college books tomorrow. it is also the day that i have to sort my bank account out. this growing up thing is getting old.

good news. and severely bad news,

i kid you not. i am having a panic attack.

so, yesterday at enrollment, we got given this sheet which said, go onto this website and do some activities before college.
today, i thought i'd check them out. none of them seemed that bad. maths was just a double sided sheet of questions, drama and theatre wanted me to write a page, media wanted me to analyse some texts and english wanted me to read two books.

wait a second.
read two books?

oh yeah. turns out, over the summer we were supposed to read Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, and In Cold Blood by Truman Capote.

i'm sorry. NOBODY MENTIONED THAT TO ME.

i swear. the person who took us for that ridiculous taster lesson was drunk anyway.
what the hell?! i cannot do that. firstly, i need to get the books. and currently i'm having trouble getting through a 300 page chick lit, so how the freaking hell am i supposed to read those?!

i can't believe i've failed a class before i even know who my teacher is.

oh. and the good news is i might be getting this coat just because of the free delivery. yay.

i blame the late night.

last night i stayed up until 3am.
just for the fun of it.

currently it doesn't sound very fun. but i was on webcam with one of my besties until that time. so it was infact pretty fun. he's just so freaking hilarious.
anyway. he sent me a couple of songs by this band called Run Kid Run. and oh. i love them. they are amazing.
one of the songs is called One in a Million, and i love it. honestly, one of my favourite all time songs.
so this morning. well, at noon. after i'd been suitably rested for eight hours (i read for an hour after waking). i decided to play this song on my iphone.
two minutes, twenty four seconds into the song i realised it wasn't One in a Million. it was My Sweet Escape.
but because it had the same album art, and the same singer, my brain told me it was infact the same song.
how did it take me so long to notice?

ZOMFGAHHHAAAAADDDDSSSSOOOOKS

OMG. OMG. OH MY GOD.

believe it. because it's true.

i literally just signed into blog tv. and because my usual guest username was too long, i used 'Sydney'.
i did not know this was the name of John Greens mom.

he thought i was his mom. and said 'i'm pretty sure Sydney is my mom. go make an account before you get kicked out and go to the waiting room.'


gahahhhh xD John Green inadvertently talked DIRECTLY TO ME.

i have literally never been this happy.

hey there

okay. that was a bit of an emo post last night. want to hear about my day?!

today i enrolled at college. my mum dropped me off, and then went into the city to do some shopping. meanwhile i filled out some online forms, got asked loads of questions, was uber polite and smiley to everyone and then filled out a questionnaire which and i quote, asked me this question:

'has anyone ever told you that you are talented?'

now, i don't actually have a talent. i can't sing, i can't dance, i'm not allowed to draw because it's simply that bad, i'm not the next domestic goddess and i have never picked up a musical instrument i can just play. so i'm running this question through my head. and then i think, well it's either yes or no. and then i realise that nobody has ever told me i'm talented. people have said i'm smart and organised and nice, but never talented.

so that sucked.

then i got to leave. i came out half an hour earlier than i'd expected so i call my mum. repeatedly. for about five minutes. turns out she has the inability to turn her phone on. so i think, well that's cool, i'll walk into the city and find her. it takes me about ten minutes to get to the center of Winchester, all the while leaving voicemails on her phone. and the i realise that Winchester is actually pretty damned large. so i walk around for a bit. then it starts to rain. and i get a little stressed. The Best Friend tells me to call home. so i do. and my brother is no help. so i call my dad. who also, is no help. by this time, i'm really stressed, bored of Winchester and very wet.

this also sucked

and then my mum wanders into hmv. and asks me what i'm doing there. that moment made me want to talk like this:
wth?! srsly.
then we get home. and i spill ketchup down my white top.

this sucked the least. but still sucked.

and i just laugh. so hysterically i scare my own mother. it was only from primark, and i literally threw it away minutes ago.
i just thought. you know what? it doesn't matter. and laughed.


but the talented thing bugs me. what kind of a question was that supposed to be?!

true romance is dead?

so, like every teenage girl i get a little vulnerable at times. and i've been feeling that a lot recently. the past couple of days have been a bit tougher than i can normally stand.
and then i found my cure.

Fall Out Boy - The Music Or The Misery

this is why i love fall out boy.
they remind me that i don't need what everyone thinks i should have. (including me)
and with lyrics like;

'I got your love letters, corrected the grammar and sent them back.
It's true romance is dead, I shot it in the chest then in the head.'

who can resist?
so it's a little more... harsh than i'd normally go for, however. it is what i need right now.
i'd give this band my heart. but i know they'd only sign it and send it back. they practically told me.

i don't belong here

i cannot believe it is september. that is a really scary thought. it's like three and a half months til christmas, can you believe that? frightening right?

and it's like everything has decided to die on me. my email has been out for like the past twenty-four hours, and while trying to set up an instant messenger account it practically died the greatest internet death ever. and then my itunes had a fit. *sigh* it's all working now though. thankfully.
i hate it when my laptop doesn't work. it's just so frustrating.

and now the autumn weather has set in. too much rain. (i wrote fall instead of autumn originally, surely this shows how i don't belong in England?) i need a waterproof coat really, but i need an actual coat first. along with some gloves. i just wish we could skip autumn and go straight to winter with all the snow, that christmas smell which makes your house a home and cosy nights by the fire wrapped up all warm. i really think winter is my favourite season.

ooh. you won't believe this, because i've never been the creative type. my parents crushed that early on. but yesterday at work i actually wrote a song! it sucked mind you, but i've never done that before. that really does show how much thinking time i have at work. i have nothing else to do.

i have my college enrollment tomorrow. boy is that going to be a bore-fest. i filled out all of the forms and chose all of my courses earlier, so i can check that off my list.

dinner time!

i may have fallen in love with a fictional charcater... wouldn't be the first time.

i am not going to finish my list. ever.

i'm still no closer to getting seven of the books. and i have nine to read altogether. so maybe i'll have to finish it next year. i hate leaving things unfinished. so this is just temporarily suspended until next summer.

last night i watched the final of a two part tv drama version of Wuthering Heights. i've never read the book, i never had any interest in reading it. i knew there was someone called Heathcliff in it and that was about the extent of my knowledge. but after watching that show. i mean, oh my gosh. it was just so poetic and beautiful. i understood Heathcliff, and why he took advantage of those he could and tortured himself more than anyone. the ending was perfect too.

i loved it so much. even though it nearly made me cry.

i am so hungry. so so so hungry. and all we're having for dinner is stupid chicken. i am going to have to go buy some food. byeeeee xo