Style

i'm at a very weird place right now. some events have occurred which i am not really all that willing to announce to the world right away, which have shaken me to say the least. it's left me feeling lost. and i'm not quite sure what happens next. so apologies for the non-consistent blogging you have received, or not so, as it may seem.

two and a half weeks i've been back at school, what i miss most; is the morning. i now dread the rising sun and the accompanying light breaking through my curtains to awake me. it reminds me of another day trawling through work, of which most will be of use only in my exams. i'm not sure where i'm going, but it will not be a scientist of atom energy...
at the same time, there's this overpowering pressure being applied from every angle. at a time so close to the exams every adult willing me to do well, feels that they should be vocal about this. as much as i adore your encouragement and your well-wishing, i'd rather not be reminded that the exams which will effectively determine my path of life are in just one months time.
granted. in return, an eight week break is mine to do what i like with.
first, i have to survive prom. now, as much as i love the dancing, dining and dresses; the judgement that is placed upon you the very moment you step out of whichever posh/crazy mode of transport you have taken to the venue, is unbearable. every aspect of your appearance is commented on and criticized, from your dress to your date. and it doesn't seem fair that it is the western world's way of making themselves feel valued; by bullying everyone else. i do it too, and don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to be the planets biggest hypocrite. i'm merely trying to convey disappointment to the society in which we live. and for sixteen year old's turning their noses up at one another's outfits is somewhat shameful. i see no need for it, and yet, i see no solution.
on a much lighter note, i am in love with the city. London is absolutely enchanting. how people cannot stand it, i do not know. one of my good friends pointed out that everyone is always in such a rush, walking with their heads down, ipods roaring into their ears. they need to look up. listen to the rushing traffic, the laughter, the beautiful scenes taking place in such an utterly glorious city. every time i cross the River Thames bridge i get shivers down my spine, when faced with the breathtaking view of both Westminster, the river and the London Eye. it doesn't seem real. like some sort of fantastic high definition television broadcast. the cross between classical old and the amazingly modern styles are incredible. the buildings are beautifully crafted out of raw inspiration, and talent just flows out of every theatre and onto the streets.
i long to reach out and touch the very core of this city; wander the streets, looking up.
i'm starting to question, am i a city girl at heart? or still a country girl?

PS. any thoughts on the new style? and i'm having major problems with the layout of my posts, can't seem to create any breaks between paragraphs...