booksbooksbooks

here is the list. not just any list, but THE list. it contains all of the books i wish to read before my first day at college.

• The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
• Lord of the Flies - William Golding
• American Psycho - Bret Easton Ellis
• A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
• The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
  
• Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
  
• To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
  
• The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
• Paper Towns - John Green
  
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J. K. Rowling
• Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me? - Louise Rennison

as i have mentioned before (here), they all have different reasons behind wanting to read them, and i doubt not that the list will continually change and grow like a moody adolescent straining to fit into todays social environment. but fear not, edits will be listed below, and i hope to dedicate one blog to each book.

wish me luck

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#Edits and additions

• Looking For Alaska - John Green
• 13 Little Blue Envelopes - Maureen Johnson
• An Abundance Of Katherines - John Green
  

sunshine, sunshine

so, London was awesome. it easily beat any day in any other city. just like Star Trek kicked Star Wars's ass out of orbit. majorly. and this is from someone who has always had a soft spot for Star Wars - and never before seen even one episode of Star Trek. that good, i promise you.

plus!

the recent weather has been amazing. i woke up this morning to read Paper Towns (John Green you legend) and as it was fairly warm, i opened my curtains, and my windows respectively, then applied laborious amounts of tanning moisturiser as part of my plan to look decent for prom - and not like a white chocolate magnum ice-cream. it suddenly occurred to me, that this was madness. the weather had developed into a glorious anticyclone, and i was sat INSIDE tanning. oh, how the world of fake beauty has shaped me. so, i stuck on my sunglasses, grabbed that beautiful borrowed book and headed outside. where i have been for the past two hours, and where i am currently writing this.

i realised something yesterday.

i write all of the time. not like, pen-to-paper-get-your-thoughts-down-before-you-forget-them kind of writing; but mentally. i think in blog format. or novel format, depending on how creative i feel. i have written thousands upon thousands of blogs, however, i never write them down. because by the time i get myself to a notebook, or computer, or any sort of noting device, i have more than likely forgotten the entire thing. i estimated that for someone who writes constantly, i forget about 99.7% of it. because saturday is my 'thinking day' i must have come up with at least eight ideas for some really nice blogs, yet the likelihood of me ever actually writing and posting them, is next to nothing. this is sort of discouraging, but i'm not one to be easily discouraged; once i have my heart set on something, i'm not afraid to push through with my ideas.

but yes, i do infact think in blog format.

i also narrate my own life. now this sounds really odd when taking it as a straight statement, but the amount of people who wish their lives were narrated by someone seems like such a stupid idea, when who knows better what you are doing, than you? narrating in a novel format makes it sound like i am the main character of this mental novel; this is not true. i am merely a character playing this rather insignificant part in the bigger picture. the events of the novel happen to me, yet, it's not about me, it's more about the events in the novel altogether. i think to understand this strange way of processing thought, you need to have done it too; because reading it back, i barely understand it.

oh, how i wish i could go for a swim in the sea right now.

have a lovely summery day

skinny paper city

today, i bought my first ever pair of skinny jeans. for months i have been dying to buy some, and today, i found the first pair that didn't make my legs look like that of Pavarotti's. this has made me incredibly happy.

AND!

major development on the book front. the book i wanted to read most : Paper Towns, by (the legend that is) John Green, i could be getting my hands on TOMORROW!

hurrah, cannot wait.

speaking of tomorrow. my trip to london is finally here! as previously mentioned here i absolutely adore london to pieces. so i am beyond thrilled that i get to spend another day there.

as you can now see, i have finally decided to upload a profile picture of me. ahh, lovely. i am rebelling against all of those people who are terrified of the internet. who think that every teenage girl on the internet is just a time bomb, waiting to be murdered and raped by bearded middle aged computer analysts from the suburbs. so, ta da! screw you scaremongers! that is my face. now try finding me and raping me. i dare you.

(don't worry, it's just not possible)

soap

so the gods of blogging and posting are pretty much against me at the moment. throwing obstacles in my way allowing me just not to type anything! and this is killing me. i mean, i couldn't even get onto youtube for twenty four hours. i think something inside me died.

today, i was not happy for three reasons.

1. boys. - yeah well i'm a teenage girl, it comes with the territory
2. i am currently having an allergic reaction to my new shampoo and conditioner. my back is all itchy and rash-like; a month before i have to parade around an auditorium in a backless dress. fantastic.
3. we have switched to poor person soap.

whywhywhywhywhyyyy?! the soap?! seriously. i'm having enough problems with the sensitive skin as it is. however my mother has decided that this new soap is better for us economically. two points here, a) i smell like my gran, b) it is the slipperiest thing EVER.

BUT

then i saw a cloud that looked like a cartoon cloud and i was all happy again. ahh, simplicity.

AND! i stumbled this gorgeous website earlier with the most fantastic images which i cannot wait to include in my posts. some of these pictures were just so inspirational.

i have now secured my english literature grade. that's a bit frightening. although, i think i did okay. if i didn't, my possible career in writing is over. i might as well apply for a job in mcdonalds, because i really can't think of anything which even comes close to writing. my reward for finishing my english literature exam was getting to read something other than the selected texts! over the past few months i have felt completely and utterly isolated from every other book on the planet. which normally isn't a big deal. but lately, i have craved reading like a heavily pregnant woman craves spring rolls at six o'clock in the morning. so to aid my suffering, i have compiled a list of every book i wish to read between now and september.

• The Catcher in the Rye
• Lord of the Flies
• American Psycho
• A Clockwork Orange
• The Grapes of Wrath
• Nineteen Eighty Four
• To Kill a Mockingbird
• The Perks of Being a Wallflower
• Paper Towns
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

okay, so the last one is a bit of an odd one out, although i do have a reason for wanting to read every one of these books. as i get my hands on each one, and devour it, i will let you know the juicy secrets behind wanting to read them.

i pretty much love blogging

discovery

i love quotes

i feel totally spaced out right now. pretty much solid revision since ten o'clock for my first gcse maths exam tomorrow better work. maths is worrying. i have to work to be good at that. english literature however, i can do. luckily, that's on tuesday. this morning, when reading the comments on postsecret, i came across this gorgeous quote which pulled the heartstrings of my childhood.

'promise me you'll always remember; you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.' - Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh, A. A. Milne

maybe it was something greater than i can imagine which led me to this, because it seems like such a phenomenal coincidence to discover it the day before an exam. it's given me a level of courage which any other words couldn't have met, and gives me that feeling like i've got a cushion in my chest; comfy, yet as if my heart can barely be contained.

Jelly Beans

i love Daisy Bruce

after having an overall crummy excuse for a "day" i came home, wrote two blogs (one of which was blooming fantastic) did four hours of wallowing in boredom and procrastination, and then decided to research (stalk) Daisy, only to find that she lives nearly four hours away. four?! this makes me sad. because if in a years time we were amazing friends then we could maybe meet up. due to the fact that Andover is so far away from Beckingham this seems so much more unlikely. yet, i read her blog tonight, to find that she took a quotation from my writing. and that made me happier than anything i can remember.
okay, the truth is, i want to write a long, meaty piece of writing. filled to the brim with interesting topics and such. i'm absolutely dying to write. i want to use eccentrically juicy words in sentences that make authors and english professors drool. however, i have the attention span of a gnat. i get distracted by pretty much anything within a metres range. this includes:

• five day old pic 'n' pix (i have just discovered i don't like jelly beans)
  
• youtube
• television
  
• itunes/iphone
• makeup

the make-up is probably the most disastrous; use your imagination.

today i have found Maureen Johnson.

i say 'i have found' because it is like i have found God. if i could be anyone, it's tied between her and Naomi Davis. she writes for a living. she is chums with John Green. she is a youtuber. really, i could have stopped at 'she writes for a living', because that seems like amazing fun. and if i had it my way, i would just write forever. yet sadly, i am not deluded enough to believe that writing will infact keep me financially secure for life. some people it works out for, and i promise you i absolutely writhe with jealousy, however, without these people, i wouldn't want to write, and that's no good.

just a note as to how distracted i am: it took me three hours to write this rather poor blog

the sky is falling

i love live music

when people ask me if i had to choose to be either deaf or blind, i always pick blind, because i would hate to live without music. two months ago i saw fall out boy at the o2 arena in london. supporting them were a fantasticly rock/pop/punk band called hey monday. i hadn't heard of them before, and earlier i was checking out some of their songs on youtube, when i came across this suddenly, im overcome with this memory of the show. it was one of their songs which they played live. i remember attempting to sing along, and failing. i have totally fallen in love with the chorus.

Mahatma Gandhi

i love one tree hill

i was watching an episode this afternoon, which begins with Keith's funeral, and i got to thinking (as i do) that all of this anger i've been holding onto, is completely unnecessary. because, it doesn't matter how hurt i got, how hurt i wanted other people to be and how painful these past few months have been, it's in the past. it's over. nobody died. because i'm young, and, some would claim, free, i can say that i will be the change i want to see in the world. it's an impossible task to change the world. but i don't want to change the geographical world. i want to change myself for the people around me. i want to be a better person for my world.

old friends

i love social networking

yesterday, i had a friend request on a social networking site of someone i haven't seen since i was about eight. i remember her to an extent. i remember going to her house with a bunch of other friends for her birthday and picking up bars of chocolate with our mouths... anyway. the main thing i remember is her bright blonde hair. when i took a look at this friend request i suddenly realise that yes, this is that little girl i used to spend my primary school days with. something inside me was completely amazed that a) she had taken the time to find me and b) she had grown up. in my mind she was forever going to remain the pretty but strange eight year old who had a wonderful sense of humor and big blonde hair. yet now i have evidence that the same girl has infact become a teenager. she has grown up. now i'm beginning to think i am too. and that scares me more than anything else.

#EDIT: sorry for the previous mistakes on this post (which have now been edited out) i was trying to be clever.

a bit of drama

i love getting into character

up until today, i was a drama student. this statement makes me really surprisingly emotional. as my gcse's begin next week, some lessons are unofficially finishing. today my drama teacher was telling us one of his captivating stories and i completely fell into it. whenever i watch a play, or tv show, or even listen to music, i put myself into it one hundred percent. today, i suddenly feel this wave of emotion, and find myself fighting tears. i can safely say that this man has changed my life. just like Robert Jones changed his, he has changed mine. it gives me the greatest feeling of insignificance knowing that over the space of thirty-five years of teaching he will have taught thousands of students, having an impact on them - maybe not as big as on me, but an impact nonetheless - and yet i will never in any way make an impact on him. it's strange how one person can tell the same story over and over and still you'll want to hear it again, or tell you a piece of advice which will stick with you for years. and here's something sad, he will remain a person imprinted in my mind and i will fade from his faster than a telephone call to the wrong number.

to him now, i can only say one thing - thank you.

Weekend

i love being outside

the weather is lovely, i just want to spend every single day in a field of daisy's in a gorgeous summer dress with matching sandals and those painted toenails you all know i adore. unfortunately two of my gcses are little more than a week away, and i am terrified. our teachers keep telling us to "stop wasting time" but, i haven't been wasting time. wasting time is time you don't enjoy spending. saturday i went to spend the day with my best friend (who also happens to be my cousin) for her birthday, we chilled out, went in her hot tub (heaven!) and had a lovely meal with lots of family. it was such a nice day, i loved it. sunday, i went to the biggest theme park in the country; i get such a rush from roller coasters. and, i loved going with people who would actually go on them with me for a change! so i didn't spend all weekend glued to my revision books, following my study guides, but i didn't waste my time, that's for sure. i created memories which will last me a lifetime. and that is without a doubt better than studying.

Yikes-a-bee

i love cheesy romantic films

so there's this film called 'win a date with tad hamilton' and it has possibly some of the best bits of script writing i ever did see. it infact has a gorgeous little quote which, for the past few days, has just been going round and round in my head.

this is it.

"Well is it love, big love, or great love?
Well, love you get over in two months, big love you get over in two years, and great love, well great love... changes your life. So which one is it?"

i don't think i need to say much more after that. have a lovely sunday.

Secondary Problem

i love having a free house

because i can scream and shout and no matter how loud i am, nobody hears me. the closer it gets to it, the more i am really looking forward to going to college. mainly because you get to meet and mix with so many people. and also because i have been assured that the childish elements of bitching and backstabbing will mature out of them. i love secondary school, i always have. but the fact you have to permanently be watching your back for people you think you can trust ready to stick the knife in, and twist. and that really grates on me. although, the prospect of only twenty more school days, and that it will all be over soon, makes me all happy again.

Adventure

i love change

the above obviously applies to my brand new, beautiful, background. and the cute little 'smile' button on the right. and the fact that nearly two months after my very first blog, i have filled out the 'about me' section. it's not perfect, and i'm still not sure what i'm supposed to write, but it will do for now. until i change it again. i love change in many forms, in the weather, in places to shop, in cities, in countries. keeping something the same for years on end just seems to boring. then i'd have nothing to blog about. adventurers need to adventure.

Childhood Country

i love rivers so small they barely trickle

first of all, how great is that word? trickle - it makes me go all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
anyway.

sunday afternoon, it was absolutely lovely out, so i decided to take my bike out for a while. after riding until my legs ached, i stopped at a bench i haven't sat on in years. to my left was a gorgeous little paradise which brings back so many memories of being a very small child. when i was really little, my grandmother would bring me to this exact spot. as you can see, there's a small wooden bridge; i used to dangle my tiny legs off of the edge, and jump into the small stream of water. splashing around in my wellington boots in the few inches of running water used to give me so much pleasure that only feeding the ducks could rival. a little further down from this picturesque scene is the place at which this too would take place. i even remember fearing the huge, nasty geese.

PS. i was going to save this for tomorrow, but i decided it was too lovely too keep locked away

Music

i love meaningful lyrics

friday night (after my major hunt for an outfit) i went with a few friends to a sion show. the original idea was to support the warm up acts, as two of the bands included some good friends of ours. now, bearing in mind this particular auditorium can hold around about two hundred people, only about thirty turned up. however, the show went on, and the warm up acts were beyond amazing; covering several popular songs. sion are not a very well known band, although after the performance they gave, they should be. they are one of those rare bands whose recorded songs do not do them justice. (neither does this photo, and i apologise for the rather shocking iphone camera quality)granted. their style of music won't be to everyones taste, to be honest it wasn't to mine, but that shouldn't be a factor in this review. because of their unbelievable presence on stage, each band member brings something special. the vocals are flawless and the music is just stunning, and the bassist is crazy. my personal favourite song of theirs is their brand new single 'not with experience' (filmed in our school gym - strangely enough) and if you like that, check out 'drifting away' (alternately named 'wolf parade'). they're currently touring england and with cheap tickets this is such a great way to spend a friday night. i'm going to put myself out there on this one, and say that they are bordering on being the twenty first century nirvana.

Unexpected Thought

i love warm evening breezes

just a quick one tonight, as i am supposed to be studying. earlier a lucky twitter find bought this website to my attention. secondchanceonline (if you don't check it out asap, shame on you) it is so emotional. very much like postsecret, but with more of an empowering yet terrifyingly true vibe. at the beginning of this blog, i intended to end on the statement that i feel i am too young to regret anything, and cannot think of a single thing that has been so catastrophic to which i now regret. however, a thought has just came to me. that i am merely weeks away from doing something that right now i don't want to do and could severely regret. if i follow my head, everyone's happy. except for two people. one of which, i would absolutely hate to upset and hurt. the other, is me. but if i follow my heart, i could damage two other people. and get myself into an uncomfortable situation to say the least. and yet, i really don't think i'd regret it. because i would be happier, knowing that i got to do what i want. although, i would break a promise. one which i have kept for a very long time. and i don't break promises. do i keep a promise and regret? or do i break it, and live without regrets? this is a decision i cannot make.

Demolition?

i love walking aimlessly

after school on friday, i decided to pop into town to get myself an outfit for the event occurring later on that evening. on my, rather obscenely hurried, walk home i decided to take a shortcut down a path which i haven't walked for years. along this path, there was a gorgeous little cottage, which had been swamped by industry and estates popping up all around it. not far to the right was a noisy train line, a few minutes walk to the left was a huge housing estate, and metres behind was a large industrial unit. for as long as i can remember the front of this cottage overlooked an unruly uncared for field, and the house remained empty. this particular afternoon, i stormed past at a speed rivaling light, when i suddenly noticed something. i removed my headphones and stood in shock at what i saw.
the beautiful little cottage obviously brought no value to anyone anymore. what used to be a wonderful gem, had been what i consider brutally attacked. the windows smashed, roof caved in, it had been torn to pieces. this really saddened me. what's more is that someone tried to protect this worsening by putting up a large fence. (i managed to slip my hand through the bars to snap this photo) however, it merely adds to the ugliness of the scene. and to see something i once adored gazing at on my little trips into town completely robbed of its former beauty is somewhat worse than tearing it down altogether.

Comfortable

i love walking in the rain, when it's warm out

due to the fact that i am somewhat of an insomniac at weekends, the plan i constructed yesterday, i knew wasn't going to happen when it was one o'clock in the morning and i was still on the phone. so instead i had a lovely little lie-in. just in case the picture misleads you, i was in fact on my own (aww) considering that i am still sixteen i wouldn't say being on my own was a bad thing, at all. there are times when i wouldn't mind a bit of company though, i mean, everyone gets lonely.
i have some gorgeous little pictures from my weekend which i hope to post very soon in a separate blog. hoping you all had a lovely weekend!

May Day

from now on, at the beginning of each blog, i will mention something i love.

i love sitting on my feet until they're completely numb

and then begin the blog.

due to the three day weekend, tomorrow morning i will walk into town, buy myself a book, get breakfast in a coffee shop. then walk home a satisfied girl.
i am absurdly exhausted and was planning on an early night. i also have two nasty stinging nettle stings on my little finger. so to answer the question in my previous blog, definitely a city girl.