it is exactly one month until i leave my secondary school for the very last time. i have never been more terrified.

that was a bit negative.

so, everyone seems to have vanished. i don't know what it is. people just seem to have stopped uploading videos to youtube. stopped writing blogs. just stopped.

okay, i need to get out more.

i can blame the fact that i've got nothing to do on a number of factors, although, at the end of the day, it needs to look like i'm revising at least. and if it wasn't so goddamned windy out i would be outside reading anyway. i hate that i'm trapped inside by the fascist dictatorship that is my "home".

this is something which suddenly occurred to me today.

i want to write. i've said it a million times, and i will say it a million more. but, it doesn't seem like a career of any particular importance to people who are close to me. i mean. sure, people do it. but it's not a secure choice. even if you write for a paper, or a tv show or something. and to others, it's just plain laughable. and i can't even begin to constitute the fact that at some point my parents are going to discover that i am not taking mathematics at college. because it is boring! and i don't really know what direction to take with my life. argh.