two things that annoy me. and one that won't.

today, i am irritated.

i worked. every dog i washed/dried/brushed/clipped/etc. was being stupid. really stupid. and some were nasty too.

i planned a post. i wrote the post. i took pictures for the post. but the lighting was so absolutely rubbish the photos looked terrible. and without the photos the post is deemed pointless.

so it doesn't seem like a lot when you put it in a list. but things bother me. especially after i had such a horrid day at work. ah well. nevermind.

oooh! today i bought my first lottery ticket. the estimated jackpot is £64 million. i'm pretty sure winning that would put me in a better mood. or in a coffin.

college & my best friend

so, i get my gcse results in like two weeks time.

this doesn't scare me to be honest. it's just a bit of paper. and my irrational fears stretch no further than ceiling fans. but the fact that after i get my gcse results, i have to go to college. i have to go and enrol. and then i actually have to go. and i'm scared of that.

i don't really know why i'm afraid. i just am. i'm not even doing courses that i want to be doing. it just so happens that there isn't a 'blogger' or even a 'writing' course. and i know that sounds stupid. but it's like this. i don't know what i want to be doing in ten years time. so i've picked courses which leave my options open, yet point to englishy stuff. cause i like to write.

on the other side of the spectrum. there are going to be over one thousand people in my year. that's huge. that's obscene. i have spent the majority of my summer with less than ten people. whom i love, and i wouldn't have wanted to spend it with anyone else. but this is like a ten-thousand percent increase. and what's even worse, is that there are going to be people there from my secondary school who hate me. they'll blank me, and spread rumours. and i know i'm going to be subjected to that kind of childish antics. so it's going to be difficult to make friends from the word go. especially since i have this need to please people. which drives me mad.

the only godsend i have, is that my wonderful friend Elly is going to join me on this terrifying journey. and she's good for me, because she'll tell me to 'man-up' and to stop being a baby about it all. which is what i need really. i love this girl. we're more like sisters than anything else.

i say that because we argue. a lot. i mean, it's frightening. we disagree over even more. and when we fight. we don't do it by halves. there's screaming, there's bitching, there's tears. and then we ignore each other for a few days. remove each other from social networking sites. and just plain hate the other. and then someone says sorry. and we're miraculously best friends again. until next time. the fighting is always over boys. and she always ends up being right. somehow.

it really shows that no friendship is perfect. it's just like any other relationship. all it needs is time, work and love. and as much as a roller coaster as she has made my life, i still love her.

this was taken at the christmas fair at our secondary school two years ago. i stole santa's beard. it was sweaty.

irrelevant junk

i have bad news. and i have good news.

the bad news is that the before and after photographs for the fitness features, don't exist. i deleted them from the camera before i uploaded them.

i'm an idiot. feel free to throw things at me.

the good news. i can't tell you yet. it's a surprise. (a lame one, but one nonetheless, don't get your hopes up).


okay, so i used to have bright blond hair. and i used to love it. it wasn't natural, of course, i haven't been that blond since i was very little. but wow. some days i miss it. i've gone back to my natural colour now, with a few highlights. and its pretty long i guess. but there are times when i just want it cut all off and rainbow coloured. and i am deadly serious. however then i'd never be able to curl it. i love my hair when it's curly. it just takes forever with my dodgy old curlers. which are probably more likely to explode than aerosols with lighters. can anyone recommend some good curlers? preferably with a barrel larger than 2". thank yous.

in other news.

i don't understand, i've been back in the UK two days, and i'm already ill. i must have caught a cold from someone on the plane. i don't like it at all. along with the temperamental weather.

gosh, i miss the beach.

ps. i will at some point use this blog to do something worthwhile instead of jot down my thoughts with some pretty pictures.

Book #5: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling

so i said at the beginning of this feature that i would give a reason for every book on my list. i have several reasons for wanting to read this. number one would be that i read the half blood prince last year and loved it, like every other book in the series. and number two was because i had just seen the movie version of THBP, and it was good. really good.

a little disappointing compared with the novel, but in the realm of film, it was fantastic.

this book really seemed like a mission, six hundred pages, thirty-six whole chapters and a little extra. at first, even though i wanted to read it so desperately, i found the sheer size of the book daunting. it cast a great shadow over every other book i had available. yet once i picked it up, i found it somewhat attached to me. the first half of the book is shrouded in mystery with it's fair share of drama. it allowed me to read a couple of chapters every day and delve that little bit deeper into their magical world, discovering bit by bit my own expectations about the (what i suspected to be) great finale.

i hardly realised how quickly i had been dragged into the Potter world.

i can now understand the enthusiasm behind wizard rock music, Harry Potter fan-fiction and the simply magical gatherings which draw visitors from across the globe.

gatherings like Azkatraz and Leaky Con.

however, the last two hundred pages rendered me completely helpless to the strong grasp of the plot line. the story truly begins to unfold and is physically gripping. the book did not leave my sight. things you once thought were clear were once hidden in a thick mist. doors you thought wide open, only ajar. yet it makes sense. real, real sense.

each secret revealed is so much more encouraging and fascinating.

Rowling is a woman with an imagination stretching further than any i have ever witnessed. it's strange to think that one human, with little help, came up with the entire plot; for SEVEN books. including several towns, a whole new sport and unbelievable amounts more. maybe it's going overboard, maybe it's being pompous, arrogant and somewhat stupidly patriotic, but am i the only person linking J.K. Rowling to William Shakespeare? both English, both reaching all corners of the world, both writers who changed the face of writing forever. although I'm only expanding on a thought here, nothing more.
however, i can see, that in thirty years time, when the films are outdated and the books are hidden at the back of mum's and dad's closet, when the filmmakers are considering remakes, far more advanced than the originals, and the writer who began it all so many years ago sits reading quietly to her grandchildren. I can see those English school children studying it carefully, going over each page again and again. memorising the hidden theme of racism, the thoughts and feelings of every character and the expectations of good versus evil. just like a Shakespeare.
the book plays with the readers expectations like a cat with a desperate mouse. nevertheless it unfolds so perfectly, so poetically, with a simplicity that either confirms or denies your suspicions.

you can't help but love it.

there are some people who despise popular things only because of their popularity. they seek uniqueness and individuality. they might carefully avoid the trash which seeps into the media industry, popularized by humans with no taste, however they also miss out on the amazing things which somehow wriggle into the mainstream. it rarely happens, but when it does, the effect is catastrophically fantastic. i encourage the people who have tossed aside the Harry Potter franchise to simply take a few hours to read some of Rowling's chapters. they never know, they might like it.

i don't think i can praise this book much more; if the films are a quarter as good as the book, i will be a happy girl.

photo time!

i love this pool. and i love the way the flowers got in the way of the shot.
i had the balcony all to myself every single night. it's such a great place to just sit and think.
our little street. doesn't it look adorable?

our sea view. gosh. the house wasn't exactly on the coastline, however i'm like an hour away from the sea at home, so to me, it was beautiful.

my bedroom was a permanent mess, permanently. and i had two beds but only one mattress. weird right?

it doesn't matter how many clothes i bring with me, i can never choose what to wear.
my beautiful view of next doors balcony. they never used it though, so i could see the mountains all day long.

these mountains. boy, the houses on them were like palaces. and they overlooked the little rural village we stayed in, and soon, the brand new millionaires marina the nearby city has planned. so jealous.

Cyprus Diary

Saturday 7pm:

packing & packing & packing & packing and... oh what's this? oh yeah, more packing...

Sunday 4am: ie, the day of reckoning.

do i really need to say anything? if you've ever been up before anyone else in the world you'll know how creepy and unnecessary it is.

6am:

airport, terminal 5. it's very shiny and oddly quiet. not that i can currently appreciate either of these qualities because of my horrendous feeling of travel sickness. and now my father has started an argument with the people in front of us. excellent.

7am:

i just ate breakfast at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant... well i had a glass of water. still, pretty awesome right? and the massive HMV had some gorgeous Skullcandy headphones. if i had bought £50 i would have snapped them up in seconds. the pink ones in the bottom left corner are just so adorable. this place is just one huge shopping centre. i love it!

9am:

on the aeroplane. finally the horrid feeling of illness has gone. time to tuck into a dodgy English (plane) breakfast.

11am:

two hours to go. one episode of Sex and the City finished. along with a free Friends documentary thing. man, i feel rough. all my friends are just getting up when i've already been awake for seven hours...

2pm:

in the rental car. luggage safely aboard. exhaustion hitting hard. nap time i think.

5pm:

the water in the villas pool is hotter than most baths. apparently we've arrived in the middle of a heatwave. it's set to be 50 degrees centigrade tomorrow, this morning in England it was 12 degrees centigrade...

7pm:

i can't believe how dedicated i am to my blog. writing at various points throughout a day i've been dreading all week. surely this shows you guys how much I really really do love you.

Monday 2pm:

boy is it hot. really hot. inexplicably hot. i'm already tanned and the pool is still like a bath, but i appreciate it so much more today. just like the fantastic air conditioning. the really good news is that i have the balcony i wanted. yes!

Wednesday 12 midday:

i should probably explain that all the times featured in this post are in fact in Greenwich Mean Time. because i couldn't be bothered to change the clock on my phone forward two hours. the tv is all in a completely indecipherable language apart from CNN. the DVD player doesn't work, and the fact that nowhere has wi-fi has pretty much driven me over the edge. if i get suncream in my eyes one more time, i will cry.

3pm:

so i miss the internet a lot. i haven't gone this long without it for a year. what i wouldn't give to read one blog. watch ONE YouTube video. even trawl through some dire trash emails. i want to tweet and update facebook. i want to aimlessly stumble through the web. and google things when i want. i also want to post this NOW. not in a weeks time. i believe these are withdrawal symptoms from an unhealthy drug. i don't like it. at all. you'd think a house with mugs which say 'http error; coffee cannot be found' would at least have some sort of wi-fi.
i'm just bored. i don't have anything to do. it's not even the good kind of bored. the kind i like. it's the kind where i want to dwindle away the hours on msn. but i can't. i miss my friends.

Thursday 4pm:

the neighbours are pretty damned insistent on playing Michael Jackson; beat it, smooth criminal, billie jean, etc etc. you name it, they've played it. twice. but i think i've got over my internet withdrawal. the weather is beautiful. today was the first time in four days that i'd seen a cloud. i'm even getting used to the heat. and have perfected a way of tanning (no burns included). i have also gone a bit mad with my camera; i've taken photos of everything. i love holidays. even though they make me a tad schizo.

Friday 8am:

last night my brother was violently ill at a restaurant. all over the table. it was possibly the most embarrassing moment of my life. this wasn't the worst thing however. my dad took my brother home, leaving my myself and my mother to walk home. i was wearing five inch heels. i have the blisters to prove it. yowch!

11am:

at the beach! my gosh, it's incredibly glorious. the sea is that fictional turquoise you only ever see in movies. the sand is soft yet lethal with heat. the water is just indescribably gorgeous. i've never been in a sea so warm. the waves are gentle and rhythmical. it's just perfect.

8pm:

tonight we found the most amazing restaurant, WITH wi-fi! i practically screamed and jumped out of my seat. and then i discovered that it was the worst wi-fi on the entire planet. i'm pretty used to being disappointed on the internet front, but that was a little mean. anyway. i love going to different countires because of their different cuisine. i've had calamari three times this week. you can never get squid in England, and when you do, it's nasty. and i had these HUGE whitebait as a starter, i've never seen them so big before. i really really like the fish here.

Saturday 6pm;

just a little drive they said. up to the mountains they said. one day i will learn that parents lie. i've just wasted four hours of my life going to the top of a mountain, surrounded by trees, so i couldn't see a god damned thing anyway. also, when i said (after three hours of winding roads) that the feeling of carsickness was too much, both of my parents said 'oh, we thought you'd grown out of that.' it's clear i'm completely ignored in this family. excellent.

Sunday 4pm:

this is what happens before i go out for dinner. i get a little too excited.

Monday 4pm:

we went to the water park! so everything cost a bomb, and there wasn't air conditioning, but i went on more rides in the last hour than in the entire day. it was also pretty clear that most of the lifeguards thought they were gods gift to women, although some of them looked like they could have been... and when one playfully splashed me, i couldn't resist returning the favour. after spending the past week with only leering old waiters paying me any "attention" it seemed perfectly adequate. however, i know the lifeguards do it to everyone, i'm not that naive. today, was fun.

Tuesday 9pm:

the final day was spent relaxing by the pool, in the pool and in the village. the restaurant, called The Elephant, had this two man band playing live Greek music, and then some dancers turned up too. it was utterly surreal. i felt like i'd stepped into a movie. loads of people got up and danced. since, i don't dance, i remained with my calamari. although i felt rotten when the waiter asked me to dance, and i said i couldn't. thankfully i pulled off the excuse that i hadn't brought my dancing shoes; i can barely walk in my six inchers, let alone dance. overall it was a beautiful evening, who knows, we might even come back again next year.

Wednesday! 12pm:

on the road to the airport, i cant believe i'm going home. driving back through the south of Cyprus, today i can really appreciate how gorgeous this island is. fantastic coastline one side, breathtaking mountains the other. as much as i miss England still, i just know I'm going to miss the weather and simplistic beauty of here. i can see why the British love it so much.

9pm:

and nine hours later. after the horrendously busy airport the size of a mushroom, after the turbulent flight and hideous plane food, after an underground tube inside an airport. we finally got into the car. this morning i woke up in one of the hottest, most beautiful countries i have ever visited. tonight, i will go to sleep in the most selfish and temperamental weathered country in the world. but it's my home. and as much as it truely, truely pains me to say it, i love England. that statement goes against pretty much everything i stand for, considering i own a rather odd ring, with a bird on it, to signify that one day i will take fight and leave this country. however, for now, this country, is perfect; mainly because of the excellent 3G and wi-fi.

and finally...

i can post this! at 8:30 am on a thursday morning in August. (would you believe i've already been up for two hours?!) and boy. doesn't it feel weird that it's August already? apologies for the novel-length post. and i have some more photos to come later!

i love you guys.

i've been writing this post over the past week because i just knew i was going to run out of time.
and it's nowhere near finished. and i'm in the middle of clothes mountain, trying desperately to concentrate on packing. and i just. can't.

however, i've managed to get some software, and tweak a few things, so my phone can now blog! although i can't attach photographs. but i'll try.

the bad news

is that the before and after photographs i planned for the end of the Fitness Feature. are currently a) still on the camera so b) won't upload. so i'm pretty stressed out. the odds are against me. but i promise you, as soon as i get back, i will conclude the feature properly.

more bad news

is that the internet in Cyprus is not free. i think i can work my way around this. although i can't work my way around the horrific lack of wi-fi/3G. i thought i'd finally be able to holiday with easy access to the world through the medium of an iphone. i guess i didn't account for the fact that the internet actually has to be available.

good news

i have bought tonnes of sugar for 4am tomorrow morning. it's a good thing there will be travel-sickness tablets on hand too - yummy.

really good news, maybe?

i think 'the expense of being a poor girl' (title of my previous post) would be an awesome name for my currently self-entitled blog. the only reason it became 'Sydney Swift' was because i was too lazy to think of anything. the only reason it remains 'Sydney Swift' is because it gets good google search results. can i do a quick poll here? change or not to change? maybe not to 'the expense of being a poor girl', but to something other than my name.

changing the subject completely...

i haven't finished the latest Harry Potter book yet. i'm part-way through The Deathly Hallows. i wish i could just upload a review now because i am so far behind on my list. and this book, is the only one i'm taking with me which is also on my list. although i am taking three chick-lits and one drama. if i get through them all will be a miracle. i spent £25 on itunes yesterday. i came out with one tv show, one tetris game (i am the unbeatable queen of tetris) two rented films, ten podcasts and more music than i could shake a hat at.

final notes:

• i don't speak any greek.
• i have been told i am not allowed a holiday romance.
  
• apparently there is the best water park nearby.
• and a mcdonalds. and a debenhams. (just me who finds this weird?)
• i just found this picture. and my god. i hope the villa has a balcony. i love balconies.
• i will miss you guys lots. regardless of the internet connection

the expense of being a poor girl

two days til Cyprus!

i'm so excited. so so so excited. but i really dread the thought of getting up incredibly early. it makes me nervous just thinking about it. i think the excitement/stress is what's keeping me from sleeping. in the last twenty-four hours, i worked more than i slept. my brain is just a huge fuzzy mess.
and i keep losing track of clothes. and i have no idea what to wear, what to pack or what to take on the plane. what's worse is that we're flying from heathrow's terminal five. this isn't exactly a casual place. inside there's a Harrods, a Dior, a Gucci, a Prada and a Tiffany & Co. so i guess what i'm really stressing out over is if i can wear Primark shoes without looking like a totally ignorant, poor nobody. i'm aware that i am a ridiculously superficial excuse for a human; this is the way i am.

i'm also buying a stupid amount of music from itunes.

i think the invention of itunes is a godsend. i have a really strange taste in music, the fact is that i will listen to pretty much anything. Florence and the Machine, Kids in Glass Houses, Whitney Huston, Blink 182, Bloc Party, MGMT. i could go on. and on. and on. but i think i do that enough. i'm currently buying: Fall Out Boy, Paramore, Hey Monday and Jennifer Hudson. spot the odd one out. i really wanted to get Sex and the City (the movie) to go on my iphone, however itunes didn't have the film, only the soundtrack - hence the Jennifer Hudson song.

in other news

i'm really proud of myself for sticking to my weight-loss/fitness programme. it's due to end on saturday, so that should be the final instalment of the fitness feature.

finally

the next two days are going to be beyond hectic. i'm working from 9am through to 4:30pm both tomorrow and saturday. along with packing/last minute beauty regimes / other arrangements etc, if i have any time to sit down will be a miracle. fingers crossed i should be able to do my final blog before saturday night. even if i have to perform magic and do it from my phone. which at the moment is proving to be impossible.

current feeling:

• guilty snacks today: none.
• weight gain/loss: - /+ 0 lbs (4lbs in total)

iheartdesk

last night, i got the pleasure of watching the latest Harry Potter film. now i'm not going to review it, because you'll find millions of reviews from fan-girl to professional all across the web, so there's no point. but i will simply say that it was fantastic. this is a great year for movies.

i also have to mention how much i love some of the characters.

they have been flawlessly cast. this includes the old and new ones. from Slughorn, to Bellatrix, to Luna. and the acting is truly superb. i've read most of the series. i read the Half-Blood Prince as soon as it came out. and every time i watch a film after i've read the book, i'm shocked by what they leave out/change and what i remember, considering it was so long ago. still, it put my imagination into over-drive. and i spent three hours this morning getting a good start on the Deathly Hallows. i have to finish it before i leave.

in other news. this morning, my desk looked like this:

as you can see, i'm like the little girl from Signs, lots and lots of glasses of water. and that's just my desk. there were another three in my room.

and after three weeks of posting/working from my living room armchair, i decided that all my mental work was useless and i actually needed to start writing things down. i come up with ideas all of the time. as i was just a creative jukebox last night. and i need a place to focus and work away from distractions, like a television with 700 channels. so after spending two hours indulging in one of my favourite movies of all time, (Sex and the City) i cleaned. and i cleaned good.

ta da! perfect.

ps. i ate the minstrels soon after completion.

• guilty snacks today: see above.
  
• weight gain/loss: - 1 lbs (4lbs in total)

clothesclothesclothes

i never thought i'd have the determination, concentration, or dedication to write 75 posts. but here i am.

yesterday i (finally) ordered some clothes of asos. i've never ordered clothes from the internet before, because i'm scared that they won't fit, or aren't right, etc etc. but now i have, yay! although there's only one problem when i do order things from the internet, it's that they take so long to arrive. i am a very impatient person. when i want something, i want it now. i could have paid for next day delivery, but i already spent £79 on clothes. i didn't have a spare £3.95. therefore, i have to wait until wednesday. *sigh*

i'm really sad i didn't get this hat though. it's beautiful.

so instead of moping about the fact my brand new clothes aren't here yet, i've been stumbling blogs! i missed this as a hobby, because it really shows you what other people use blogger for. the amount of craft and food blogs is just unbelievable. there are so many! i love the fashion/customise ones though. they're absolutely inspiring. and, of course, i adore the beautiful photographs.
apart from that, i'm basically going to spend my day getting over-excited about my up-coming holiday, and chewing my split lip. don't you hate it when you gain injuries in your sleep?

ps. it looks unlikely, really unlikely, but i might do something special for my 100th post. we'll see.

'how quickly an idea planted...'

when i was younger, i used to love my barbies. so so much. i had a box, half the size of a single bed, filled to the brim with different variations of barbies, hundreds of items of clothing, thousands of miniature hairbrushes and one ken doll. there was also a fully functioning campervan, bungalow, pool, jeep and house, complete with lift.

i was a very girly girl.

but when i got bored of it all, i used to take my mothers old 'Next' magazines and cut the models out. spending hours carefully trimming around every heel and wayward hair strand. i'd play with them like dolls for a while, then keep my favourites. i had a whole folder filled with hundreds of cut outs of women in fabulous clothes, heels and accessories. it was a glamorous 2D world with which barbies couldn't quite compete.

then, for lack of a better phrase, i "grew up".

so today, while feeling all gross and ill, i was reading both this and last months Cosmopolitan. and then i got inspired. really really inspired.and now, i am off on another crazy long haul project. i would print pictures off fashion websites, but the quality is never as good. it doesn't get that amazing sheen. after destroying only two issues, i already have this:isn't that the most glamorous inside-of-a-wardrobe door you ever did see?

sickyy

i cancelled on my friend.
i'm now receiving abusive text messages.
i still feel ill.
i'm going to go read or something.
bye x

ughh

so, last night was hilariously disastrous.

it's perfectly safe to say, some of the contestants were more than nervous; they were terrified to their very core. and some, couldn't sing whatsoever. however there were a few little gems with fantastic voices. but one act really stole the show. a kid who is infamous for performing dances on command and striking poses when asked is a techie called Little Ashley. him and his strange friend Liam performed the funniest act i've ever seen. they're no older than twelve, yet they had no fear in dressing up as the characters from Queen's video 'i want to break free'. complete with fake boobs, a moustache and a toy hoover. it's no surprise that they won. and on their final performance received a standing ovation from the crowd of two hundred.

overall it was a great night.

so after a few weeks of working and relaxing, i wanted to go out and do something with my friends today. therefore, i planned. i was going to go out. i was going to have fun. yet this morning i wake up and my head is being tortured by headache monsters, while my internal organs are turning each other into play dough. it better clear up soon. i canceled on going out the other week because i was too tired, i promised i'd go out this time. and because currently, i feel like this:trapped and sick.

dress up! ps: embarrassing photo.

i love going out. even if it's just going into town, if i want to make it a big deal i will.

tonight i'm going to this show at my (old) secondary school. it's called 'Stars in Their Eyes' where students dress-up, go up on stage and sing their hearts out. i went last year and the year before. where a 13 year old boy called Nigel dressed up as a spice girl and sung 'wannabe'. poor thing forgot the lyrics so the crowd was singing it for him. i've never known a child so brave or possibly stupid. one of my best friends won it last year too. i was so happy for her i cried. i was worse than her mother. when they called her up to sing for the big finale to the show, i blubbed throughout the entire thing. she'd gone up for it the previous year and come second.

AND!

i have just received news that a really good friend of mine and his band are playing at it tonight!

woopwoop!

i manged to get myself a ticket through the medium of my younger brother, however i feel i may have to smuggle Elly (friend, accomplice, etc) in. either with violent threats or bribery. the show is always full to bursting.

so, i like to stand out.

like last year, when everyone was going colour crazy, i opted for a short high wasted, polka dot skirt, and white top. i still love this outfit and wear it all the time. because i have no clothes. i do have pictures of this outfit, but they're with a bunch of other people and i can't deal with either cropping them out or explaining. so you will have to imagine.

however; this year...

i have so far decided on bright mint green heels and possibly a (forcibly borrowed) trilby hat. but i love the fact that being a girl allows me to start my beauty regime four hours before i leave the house. and that i can do pre-make-up before the real war-paint. and that i can change my outift twenty times. and shop for accessories an hour before. and do my hair in several different styles before finally settling on "curley". and the way i can't even begin to get ready without the right song playing. if i haven't mentioned it before, i like being a girl. i really really do.

• guilty snacks today: milky way magic stars... oops.
• weight gain/loss: - 1 lbs (3lbs in total!)

ps. just for laughs, here is the picture i had taken when i got stuck in a broken down car for three hours on friday night.that is not a happy teenager.

one, two, three, four

so, apart from a recent ride in a tow truck which i was sure was going to be my death, i've pretty much had a boring couple of days. and with practically no inspiration for anything non-soppy, i'm going to do another one of these!

1. i haven't watched High School Musical because i'm afraid i'll fall in love with it. just like after seeing the Hannah Montana movie, i fell uncontrollably fast. and i don't want to be an obsessive Disney freak at the age of sixteen. which makes me a hypocrite, because i am.
2. i want a pipe like Juno. from the movie.
3. i cannot sing. i have to sing for my piano exams, and well, i hate it. my teacher tries so hard to get me to sing in tune, but it stresses me out so much, every time i'm on the brink of tears. it's horrible.
4. i like to sing. i like to sing so people might actually catch me singing. because i never sing. and they never catch me.

broken strings

like every child, when i was younger i went through a lot of phases. phases where i wanted to be a nurse, or a comedienne, where i wanted to do ballet or horse riding. so when i told my parents i wanted to learn how to play the piano they played along for a little while. then, for my eighth birthday i received a keyboard. little did they know that eight years later i would have a full eighty eight key electric piano in the dining room and have passed my grade four with merit.

i did also horse ride for a few years until my teacher became sick. and the idea of being a comedienne is still lurking in the back of my brain. the only problem is that i'm not funny.

but that's beside the point. i remember having an 'interview' of sorts with my piano teacher. i remember it was in the evening, it was dark and he just kept asking me questions like 'how long had i wanted to play', 'did i want to play famous composers' etc. i was eight, the only reason i wanted to play was because i'd seen multiple cartoons with these passionate pieces in. while tom and jerry weaved in and out of the piano strings.

i was, and still am, inspired by very strange things.

so i started playing out of this book with stickers in it. for every section you completed you got a little sticker. it had characters in it, and every piece had words to go with it. so i could happily sing along in my head. it was all very cute. until i was about eleven, and got into my jazz music. i've never listened to jazz. i don't know any jazz musicians. i just loved to play it. i still have two amazing jazz books. alongside my disney songbooks, and my downloaded boyz II men /fall out boy/ Gabrielle /Maroon 5 folder.

i have a very varied taste in music.

four grades and a lot of hard work later, i had achieved pass' in grades 1 & 2 and then merits in both grades 3 & 4. and then i stopped.

until yesterday i hadn't touched my piano since march. and i just thought. it's what you want, so get off your ass and do it. so i did. and it felt great.

superlongpost

it's only been six days, but i've really missed you guys!

it is more than safe to say i am extremely happy, and everything is going fantastically well. monday my boss' took me to the zoo! there's a local one less than an hour away, so the three of us set off on a little road trip to Marwell Zoological Park. it was a wonderful day out. and we managed to avoid the rain, which came down in torrential outbursts.

but i kind of like storms

i received my bus pass yesterday. which now means i can travel free throughout six whole counties ( practically all of the south east of england ) until midnight on the third of september 2010! it did cost my parents a bomb though... however, i also decided to become totally independent and get myself a library card. i know it's beyond geeky, but it saves me so much money. i have this weakness for buying books. so now i have two cards which give me so much freedom and independence and save me sooo much money. i'm worried that i might actually be growing up...

i've had a major sort through of all of my books.

although it turns out i haven't read seven of them, so maybe there will be some serious additions to the list. i'm not decided on that yet. i went into town yesterday, and was so incredibly tempted by pic 'n' mix i had to spend my money on a book so that i didn't spend it on food. this leads me onto declaring that i have already lost two whole pounds! i am so proud of myself right now. although i'd like to lose a little more. thankfully my determination overpowers temptation and i am doing so much better than i ever thought i could.

i also bought a swimsuit.

i am a firm believer in bikinis. however they're pretty impractical for swimming. and because of the upcoming cyprus vacation, i treated myself to a half price swimsuit from asda, bought with the cash i got from trading in some of my wii games. i am a cheapskate, and should be punished. anyway. this swimsuit is a size six. and oh my life. i have never worn anything which has made me look so good before. i'm not normally this confident or... arrogant. but i just can't help it. i love this swimsuit.

i also love the fact that there are sales everywhere at the moment.

i would also like to mention how grateful i am for my job at the moment. i work at a small dog grooming salon on the outside of town. i have for a year now. and i love it there. it doesn't pay a lot, but my boss' Emma and Laura are amazing. i mean, they took me too the zoo! they buy me lunch, and they tell me that i'm not ever allowed to leave, because they like me too much. it's so refreshing to know that i do have some sort of job security, even if it is just the emotional impact i've made on the both of them. especially now that nobody under the age of twenty-five can find work anywhere. the amount of status' i've seen on facebook saying 'filling out my fifth job application, maybe this one will take me' or 'out job hunting again'. it's shocking. businesses want people with experience, or so they say. i think it's also got something to do with the bad press relating to teenagers. nobody wants to hire destructive, out of control, violent, teenagers. that's what our generation is being portrayed as. i'm not saying it's false. because there are a percentage who fit that stereotype. nevertheless there are others. ones who don't drink, smoke and act promiscuous. there are the ones who have lunch in cafes before trips to the cinema. ones who go on evening bike rides to let off some steam. ones who enjoy being teenagers without destroying everything they touch. i don't think it's fair that businesses and workplaces are not willing to give teenagers a chance. even if they are the destructive type, maybe that will be the chance, the opportunity, to give them structure, and mould them into a better person.

so i am much more than grateful to have a job.

i now have to spend a lot of time working. because suddenly money has become this huge ball and chain around my ankle. by the beginning of september i'm going to need at least £200 saved up for college. and another £200 saved up for outside of college. (and money for clothes. it would be so good to look as glamourous as her below)that's about 90 hours of work. owch. and it really doesn't help that i have forgotten several vital details for the bank account i set up several months ago. oops.

• guilty snacks today: none!
• weight gain/loss: - 2 lbs (yess!!!)
  

Book #4: Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me? - Louise Rennison

four down, ten to go. (linklinklink)

so when i started this project, i said that i would tell you the reason behind reading each book. but you see, i've already done that in this post - bookend feelings. so that's one less job for me, onto the review!

this book is just a hilarious romantic mystery. there's something about teen fiction which i totally adore. maybe it's the fact that i can relate to it. but i promise you. this was easily the funniest book i have ever read. it got to the point i was still reading at two in the morning, and had to bury my face into my pillows to stifle my explosive laughter. Louise Rennison has such a talent for writing some genuinely genius comic moments. the basic plot is a fifteen year old girl, Georgia, trying to decide who she really loves, Masimo, the hot italian guy, scooter and all. or Dave, the friend, who she just can't help flirting with. the narrative keeps you guessing right up until the last page and gives away no clues whatsoever. i can truly say it was the perfect end to the ten novel series Louise Rennison has created.

Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging

people, in the uk particularly, may be familiar with the film 'Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging', this is the feature film based on the first two Confessions of Georgia Nicolson novels. it differs somewhat from the books, however, it's still full of pure comedy. and if you want to dip your toes into Georgia Nicolsons world, i could not recommend it more.

22 daaayyyssss

okay. this is it. d-day.

i have just had my last supper. with only 22 days until i jet off to cyprus, today was the final day of pussy-footing around. no more snacks. no more excess calories. no more pretending i could get away with not exercising that day.

this is it.

i have worked out a little plan. and i will stick to it if it goddamn kills me. the general theme is to exercise in the morning; when the house is empty. for 30mins minimum and no longer than an hour. but it has to be done every. single. day. but. i have to do this alongside steering clear of calorie filled things. no more sweets. no more pizza. no more cola. from now on it's yogurt, banana and lots and lots of water. it sounds boring, and horrible, and gross. and my motivation level is through the floor right now. so, i am counter-acting this with another fabulous little plan.

remember this photo?of course you do. the model is undoubtedly gorgeous. and she has that stomach which i would undoubtedly die for. for motivation, there are four variations of this photograph currently situated in my bedroom. one is pinned on my noticeboard. one is on the inside of my wardrobe door. one is in that weird little photo bit of my purse (to remind me, right before i purchase some guilty sweets). and the last is on the back of my bedroom door. so every time i leave the room i remember what i want more than anything right now.

i know

it's superficial. and it's ridiculous. and its bordering on materialistic. however i am willing to admit that i am unfit. i am unhealthy. and i am willing to change that. by achieving a body which looks similar to the one above, it shows me that i am capable of becoming a healthier, fitter, better person.

so here's the plan

• breakfast: fruit&yogurts
• lunch: fruit&yogurts&... ham, or something? suggestions please!
• dinner: whatever my mother puts in front of me. unless it's something really unhealthy, in which case i will create something out of raw vegetables or just a boring old salad. again suggestions would be much appreciated.
• all snacks will be replaced with water! or possibly sugar-free gum! yay...
  

i now promise not to blog about this until july 25!

so, when i had my taster day at Peter Symonds College on wednesday, it really opened my eyes to how boring some peoples lives were. i'm still in shock to a certain degree. i mean. there were these two boys in my economics class, Josh and Jack, (they looked like geeks. kind of strange looking, didn't particularly care about their appearance, odd choice of unfashionable yet simple clothes. bearing in mind it was about 30 degrees celsius outside, and this Jack was wearing a dark blue jumper...) and they were happily chatting away until they got onto the subject of politics. one of them, Josh i think, said

'well i wouldn't mind being prime minister'

the other, Jack, said

'oh yes? for which party?'

Josh

'definitely conservative. of course. not labour, not in a million years'

and well. that was it. *argument*

there were also two other boys sat at my table. who thankfully were teenagers through and through. one of them said 'what is wrong with you? i get that you care. but, don't you go out with your friends? go into town? just hang out?'. turns out they don't. they like to read the guardian. both the paper and the website. the business and economics section. and don't for a second linger about the sport. these are teenage boys. fifteen and sixteen year old boys. the only thing they should be using the internet for are pictures of Megan Fox. i just couldn't believe it. i really really couldn't. i still can't. i had never encountered people like this before. i'd heard they'd existed. but to meet a fifteen year old who acted like some cynical middle aged man just shocked me. this poor child had either been brainwashed to an incomprehensible amount, or... was born an unfortunate case of a human being.

nevermind.

ps. i know i promised to blog today. and i apologise for leaving posting so late. it's just, when i have nothing to do i get distracted easily. just like when i have stuff to do. i'm a very distracted sort of person. apologies!

pps. happy independence day for tomorrow!

ppps. my favourite part of planning a major work out session: making a playlist!

week cont.

so here is the last of my exciting week.

tuesday

went shopping on a budget of only £25. i managed to get a return train fare, a pizza hut buffet, underwear and shoes! as far as i'm concerned, that is not bad going at all. although, after walking miles around both andover and basingstoke, it was no surprise to have blisters on both of my heels. owch. i also booked a day of work for thursday! so i will finally be able to pay for my yearbook. however i won't receive it until november. madness.

wednesday

college taster day. an early start, five lessons, lunch and a journey home, i discovered one thing. college is exactly the same as school. but with less people i know. i nearly cried with delight when one of my secondary school friends was in the same media class as me. i'd spent practically the whole day with people i didn't know. some lovely girls in maths, drama and theatre studies and english literature and language, and some weird geeky politics-obsessed boys in economics. after reviewing the economics class, i have decided against taking it. however the maths class has completely changed my view on the subject and i'm almost definitely sure i will be taking it in september.
tomorrow i will be working again. although i am enjoying a well earned day of rest on friday. when i promise to post something much more interesting than an update. have a lovely rest-of-week, whatever you do!